A homework battle between parents and their teenage children plays out in millions of households across the country on a daily basis. The nightly drama around homework that plagues many families is so common it could almost be considered normal if it wasn’t so disruptive and toxic.
On one side is the high school student, engrossed in Youtube, video games, or social media while chronically procrastinating on starting their homework or studying. On the other side is the overwhelmed and frustrated parent who is sick and tired of repeatedly asking their child to start doing their work.
The child yells for the parent to stop nagging while the parent yells for the child to get off the gaming console and start doing schoolwork. And if the high schooler in question has ADHD, then this entire scenario can become much more serious and combative.
Students with ADHD frequently suffer from:
Poor time management skills
Inadequate planning abilities
Poor organizational skills
Missing or late assignments
Poor note-taking abilities
Low test scores
Poor grades in school
Difficulty with transitioning from preferred to non-preferred activities
I meet many families that feel they are at a crossroad with their child. The dynamic at home can become so toxic due to regular arguments over academics that the relationship between the parent and child can at times appear almost non-existent.
Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be this way.
Before anything can be done to improve the situation at home surrounding academics, it’s important to understand the child’s behavior and why they do what they do. If the child has executive functioning deficits or ADHD, which the majority of my high school student clients do, then understanding why the behaviors occur is even more critical if change is to happen.
To help understand why many students with ADHD resist doing homework, it’s important to recognize that individuals with ADHD struggle with regulating their behavior (amongst other challenges), especially when it comes to delayed gratification. What that means is that given the choice to:
Option 1: Play video games now and do homework later
Option 2: Do homework now and play video games later
The child with ADHD will most likely choose to play video games or watch Youtube now until they fall asleep and worry about homework tomorrow! While the issue with delayed gratification may help to explain why your teenager fights you tooth and nail every night when you ask them to get off the gaming console, it certainly doesn’t make it right. So what is a parent to do?
The accountability that is built into Eran’s service is amazing as my son holds himself accountable to what he says he is going to do and the action plans they create leave no doubt as to what my son has actually agreed to doing. – C. Lindley, Parent
My service for high school students with ADHD is designed to help students:
Reduce screen time
Master time management skills
Learn to plan ahead in order to meet deadlines
Develop strong organizational skills
Consistently turn work in on time
Learn how to take effective notes in class
Learn advanced test-taking skills
Significantly improve grades in school
Take ownership over their academics
My professional experience of working over 15 years with students who have ADHD have shown me that these individuals often desperately want to do better in school, the problem is they just don’t know how. While that may sound like an excuse to some, that is in fact exactly the issue for most of these students.
Successfully helping students with ADHD is a challenge because it requires becoming highly knowledgeable in many different areas. From many years of experience working 1-on-1 with students who have ADHD, I can confidently say I understand these students’ needs, and perhaps more importantly, I know how to build the kind of trust that is necessary to develop with a student who has likely struggled in school their whole life.
I have developed a research-based approach to working with students who are underperforming in school and have ADHD. My philosophy to working with my student clients is to not only provide them with the tools, strategies, and skills they desperately need to succeed in school, but just as important if perhaps not more so, my service is centered on clients taking ownership over their academics through accountability.
The emphasis my service places on accountability is incredibly effective and has the result of removing the parents from the role of academic enforcers to the role of…..parents. Imagine that, the possibility of no more nightly homework battles.
Let me ask you, what would it mean to your relationship with your child if your child took ownership over their academics and when issues arose, your child had a trusted advisor and coach that helped them problem solve their own challenges?
What would it mean for your child to achieve confidence that they not only possess the knowledge and tools to succeed in school, but that their academic victories were a result of choices they made for themselves as opposed to choices imposed upon them?
This is what is possible with my intervention.
Please note, while I work remotely with busy professionals and college students, I require that high school students meet with me in my office in Westlake Village, CA. Trust and relationship building is incredibly important with teenagers and I am able to achieve that more effectively when I meet with the student in person.
If you wish to learn more about my coaching services for high school students then please contact me to schedule your 15-minute complimentary phone consultation and learn if my service is a good fit for your child.